


Writing's on the Wall

by EggMuffin



Category: Kingsman: The Secret Service (2015)
Genre: Based on ''Writing's on the Wall'' by Sam Smith, M/M, Song fic, You know the new Bond song, angsty, with a happy ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-13
Updated: 2015-10-13
Packaged: 2018-04-26 05:27:20
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,689
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4991995
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EggMuffin/pseuds/EggMuffin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Gentleman spy Harry Hart avoids emotional attachment like the plague until a certain young man comes along and Harry has to re-evaluate his life choices. </p><p>Based on ''Writing's on the Wall'' by Sam Smith</p>
            </blockquote>





	Writing's on the Wall

**Author's Note:**

> The new Bond song gives me Hartwin feels. Someone go make me a Hartwin fanvid set to it, please. 
> 
> tumblr: @Eggmuffinwrites

_I've been here before  
But always hit the floor_

Harry Hart is 25 when he becomes Galahad and he loves every minute of it. He feels he belongs, he feels he's doing something with his life, and it's not the life he'd imagined at the age of 17 when they told him he was going to do great things, but it's even better. What's more, his homophobic parents, who'd kicked him out of their home and their will at the age of 19, were wrong – he's accepted at Kingsman. ''Lad, some of the people have personal prejudices against you lot. But it's important that we know just what you are, because we have to have trust. Without trust, a secret service is no good,'' told him the Merlin at the time. The handler he's assigned on this third solo mission as a Kingsman agent sneers at his sexuality and calls him a ''fucking poofter'' every chance he gets, but he has to admit that Harry is a more than merely capable agent. Within five years, he's the best that Kingsman has and no one gives a shit that he prefers cocks over tits.

He doesn't have a relationship because relationships are messy and difficult. He has lots of sex instead because it's simple, it's uncomplicated and no matter how good the fuck, he never wants it to become anything beyond physical release. Quite the opposite, in fact – the better the sex, the more he dreads the emotional attachment. The minute his partner for the night expresses the wish to see him again, he bolts.

Alex is the exception, because he's like Harry. He works in the Berlin department and regularly visits UK HQ as a delegate. They know exactly what they want from each other and it works beautifully. Alex comes to London, lets Harry know, they meet at a hotel and spend the night fucking each other. They smoke in the bed afterwards, side by side, and talk about work. Harry thinks Alex is beautiful, but couldn't imagine them being anything but what they are, and tells he other man as much, who throws his head back, laughs and calls Harry a ''soft cunt''. Three years after meeting him, Harry is informed that Alex has been killed in an explosion. He doesn't mourn much and never even thinks to visit Alex' memorial plaque at the Berlin office when he's over there.

  
_I've spent a lifetime running  
And I always get away_

Harry's been an agent for twelve years when he meets John, a lovely accountant with a dirty mouth and dirtier mind and they hit it off right away. They spend three nights together before John confronts him about his expectations for their ''relationship''. Harry feels vaguely guilty about breaking John's heart, but he doesn't have time to dwell on it, because he gets shot twice the day after and has to log Lancelot's dead body out of Poland and back to London. He feels much more guilty about being the one alive – he has nothing but a dead dog in the bathroom in his townhouse, whereas Lancelot – Ian – had a wife of 17 years and a 13-year-old daughter.

He doesn't have time to dwell on that either, because Chester King calls them in for the toast and tells them to submit their candidates for the Lancelot position. It's the first time for Harry and at the recommendation from a friend in the MI5 he settles on Lee Unwin, a promising codebreaker with military background. He briefly doubts his decision when he finds out Lee has a wife and a young son back home, but his recruit's enthusiasm and wide-eyed wonder at the sight of Kingsman's hangar erase the doubts from his mind.

Lee and James, Percival's candidate, are the last two standing, much to Arthur's annoyance. Lee is not from a priviledged background, he never went to Eton and Chester King couldn't see how he could last in ''their world''. Harry is smug until both Lee and James both pass the dog test because that's where it gets complicated. So they come along on a mission with Harry and the new Merlin to see how they hold up in a real life situation with no safety nets.

For the second time that year, Harry has to carry the dead body of a man who died protecting him. He feels guilty as hell this time around and has all the time to dwell on it. Lee's son's sad eyes only seem to make it worse.

He fucks his way through what seems like the half of London, goes to see Kingsman's psychiatrist, gets drunk with Merlin and proceeds to tell him his life story, and by the time July 1998 rolls around, he's feeling much better.

  
_But with you I'm feeling something  
That makes me want to stay_

Harry keeps avoiding relationships and having more sex than Casanova on viagra according to Merlin.

He falls in love in the spring of 2006. His name is Richard and he's very handsome and witty, and Harry fears he's become soft at the grand old age of 46. He finds it's not the case when he shoots Richard in his sleep three weeks later, after finding out ''Richard'' was actually Kirill Bogdanov, an enemy agent.

He swears to stick to sex and never deal with feelings again, until 2015 rolls around and he finds himself beating up a band of louts after they call Lee Unwin's son a rentboy.  
  
_I'm prepared for this_  
_I never shoot to miss_  
_But I feel like a storm is coming_  
_If I'm gonna make it through the day_  
_Then there's no more use in running_  
_This is something I gotta face_

Eggsy is everything his father was and more, and Harry spends the first three weeks of his training wallowing in self-loathing a guilt over his feelings – sexual and otherwise – for the man. He then falls into a coma and spends the next few weeks blissfully unaware of Eggsy's gentle kisses on his hand and whispered pleas.

Harry wakes up and finds that everything is still intact, including his feelings for Eggsy. He yearns to touch, to keep, to seduce and to hold, but it feels wrong – Eggsy's less than half his age, and his daydreams about sharing his house with Eggsy go against everything he thought true thus far.

It doesn't stop his heart filling up with pride when Eggsy passes the loyalty test with flying colours and it definitely doesn't stop him kissing Eggsy in his kitchen later that evening.

''Fucking finally,'' Eggsy sighs into his neck as they revel in their post-coital bliss a few hours later and Harry can't help to agree. Perhaps this love business isn't so bad after all.  
  
_If I risk it all_  
_Could you break my fall?_

Except it is. Eggsy fails the last test, steals one of the cars and Harry's never felt this angry or betrayed in his life, not even when Richard turned out to be an enemy spy.

He yells at Eggsy and Eggsy yells at him and it's awful, but he doesn't know what else to do. He's still fuming when he takes a seat at the church. He listens to the sermon and thinks of Eggsy and realises they've fucked up. Harry decides he'll fix it when he gets back, he'll gather Eggsy in his arms and tell him he never meant any of it; he'll fix their relationship first and then he'll see to everything else.

He doesn't have time to dwell on his plan because he proceeds to slaughter everyone at the church and walks out to find Valentine waiting for him. He feels bile rise in his throat when Valentine raises his gun and he knows he won't make it home at all. _I've fucked this up royally_ , he thinks. It's not the end he'd imagined nor wanted for himself, but it's too late now. _I'm sorry, Eggsy._  
  
_How do I live? How do I breathe?_  
_When you're not here I'm suffocating_  
_I want to feel love, run through my blood_  
_Tell me is this where I give it all up?  
_ _For you I have to risk it all  
_ _Cause the writing's on the wall_

He wakes up at a hospital three days after V-day, because Valentine was a shit shot and there must be someone looking out for him. He contacts Kingsman and they jet him home. The agency is in ruins, Merlin running it to the best of his ability and Eggsy is an agent, one without a code name, but an agent nevertheless.

An agent and a vision in the suit Harry had made for him. A vision that gives Harry a crushing hug, brushes his lips against Harry's cheek and whispers, ''We'll talk about it when I get back from my mission, alright?''. All Harry can do is nod and pray that Eggsy does come back.

Eggsy comes back a week later and Harry's on the very edge of a mental breakdown. Merlin claps him on the shoulder and tells him not to cock it up, because Eggsy's a good agent, better than Harry ever was and if he makes a mistake on the field because Harry broke his heart, Merlin will be personally responsible for Harry's untimely death.

Harry drives Eggsy home and they talk for hours. They lay out their expectations, their fears and once all the cards are on the table and their relationship is not a mere promise anymore, when Eggsy whispers, ''I'm yours, Harry,'' and leads him to bed, Harry is so tired, but also the happiest he's ever been. They lay in each others arms, still fully clothed, for another hour before falling asleep.

In the morning, Eggsy rides him for ages before Harry flips him over to fuck him into the mattress. They have breakfast in bed and Eggsy gives him a massage. _I could definitely get used to this_ , Harry thinks.

He thinks the same thing four years later, when he feels the unfamiliar weight of his wedding ring on his hand for the first time.


End file.
